http://ping.fm/m7BkR Why settle for a golfer when you can have a prime minister?

http://ping.fm/7pegP pansi me and Tiger W are FB friends but I am NOT one of his harem! He begged but I said no.

The latest updates from Tiger Woods' Facebook feed. - By Rachael Larimore - Slate Magazine http://ping.fm/YFcMT

http://ping.fm/qZIBw Here is Emrald, Brittney, and the Doo Doos mooning Sarah Palin. Shame on them!

pansi I am sometimes sooooo embarrassed by the actions of my fellow Barbies. I will be supporting Sarah Palin for president in 2012.

pansi During the election Aubvey said she supported Sarah Palin but she had sinful dreams about Barack Obama. Emrald and Brittney mooned SP

http://ping.fm/7LZai Aubvey was so hoping that this story had pictures.

William Klein: The Only Solution to Aiport Security--Fly Naked! It's about time! Only fat people should have to wear togas. http://ping.fm/MYwdI

pansi In case you can't tell, Aubvey is really obsessed with tigers. The one thing she is faithful to is the Auburn Tigers football team.

pansi For years Aubvey was crazy over Tommy Tuberville who coached the Auburn Tigers of course. But when he got transferred she went wild.

pansi Aubvey is such a slut! She's leading Klaws Tyger on but she's still taking calls from Tiger Woods! Tommy would be so ashamed of her!

The New Adventures of PANSI And Friends: Was Aubvey one of Tiger Woods' Women? http://ping.fm/Nm0T2

Was Aubvey one of Tiger Woods' Women?

 Aubvey (L) came to the party with PANSI (C) and Brittney (R) but rumor has it that she left with Tiger Woods

Is Aubvey One of Tiger Woods' Mistresses?

by Ignatz Spatz

A shocking anonymous tip reveals that while NG4J was performing for the PGA earlier this year, Aubvey hooked up with Tiger Woods. Emrald feels that it is probably Aubvey's karmic destiny to have done so because she was likely a member of Woods' harem in his lifetime as the Sheik of Debauchery. Brittney says that she thinks Tiger was just a Trojan, or that he at least uses a lot of Trojans. PANSI is appalled that Tiger noticed Aubvey over her.

"Not that I would want to be seen with a GOLFER, mind you," the NG4J diva sniffs. "But for him to go after Aubvey FIRST is offensive to me!"

Dr. Doo Doo wants Tiger to know that if he is ever in need of Viagra or other substances, his Holy Drug Warehouse is open for business 24-7.

It is not my business to interfere in the personal lives of my performers. However, I must say that I believe that Aubvey would be much happier with a nice homeboy like Klaws Tiger than a lust monster like Tiger Woods.

--Ignatz Spatz

pansi The Cheese Mistress is complaining about being tired. I don't see why she's complaining. I did all the hard work at the photo shoot!

The New Adventures of PANSI And Friends: Critter Chorus http://ping.fm/EpXhw

Critter Chorus

WELL! I MUST SAY I AM SERTANLY NOT PLEESED WITH THE WAY THE FOTO SHOOT WENT THIS AFTER NOON!!!! MR. IGNATZ FORSED US TO POSE WITH THE STUPID KRITTER KORUS, WITCH IS BOOZO LUSCH THE FROG, DIGGER DAWG, AND KLAWS TYGER. AND GESS WHAT, THEY WERE ALL DRUNK!!!!! BOOZO IS RELATID TO PERPLE FROGGY WHO IS MARRYED TO EMRALD AND JUST LOOK AT HOW SHAME LISS AUBVEY IS!!!! SHE WAS ALL OVER KLAWS!!!!! AND DOO DOO GIRL WAS FALLING ALL OVER ME!!!!! I WAS SO GLAD WHEN IT WAS OVER!!!!! IT IS ENUFF TO MAKE ME FALL RITE OFF MY TWELVE STEP'S AGAIN AND THAT DARN SPOOKEY GUY ONLEY NO'S HOW TO BILD THIRTEEN  OR EVUN 666 STEP'S BECUZ HE IS SUCH A HEETHING!!!! I HAVE NOT HAD A WORSE AFTER NOON IN A LONG TIME!!!!! NOW IF YOU WILL ALL AXCUSE ME, I AM GOING TO TAKE THIS PILL THAT DR. DOO DOO GAVE ME BECUZ I HAV A TERRABUL HED AKE!!!!!

PANSI!!!!!

http://ping.fm/txwrd Go here to follow all of PANSI'S new adventures. For her history go to http://ping.fm/q8MmS

All I can say is it's about time. The Cheese Mistress talks about being so busy but what is more important than ME! I am a DIVA! Eyes on me!

The Cheese Mistress finally found the charger for her camera so I will probably be doing a photo shoot this afternoon with the other girls.

The Netherworld Hotel is big but it is haunted by all sorts of ghosts and evil stuff and big icky insects and Death Cheese. NOT LUXURIOUS!

http://ping.fm/fvM9v I think that I was lied to about luxury in the Netherworld.

http://ping.fm/eTArK Spooky tries to fix stuff but him and Pooh make stuff that's crazy!

Then there is the Spooky Guy who is a ghost that was forced to be the merchandiser for Death Cheese or clean toilets in the Devil's house.

The last member of Death Cheese is Soggy who is a Servitor of the Outer Gods and looks like a big squid or octopus. He plays the pipes.

And then there is the WWF Wannabes Ragnar and Rolf who are Axe Man's half brothers. They have a jackal for a mother. They are bad like Axe.

Fiske Lutefisk is married to Lorelei Mermaid but his brothers Smelte and Skaale keep asking me to give them a date or at least some fun.

The Lutefiskies smell like fish BAD! They are part fish and part men but Dr. Schitz didn't make them. They spontaneously generated one day.

Everyone likes Buzzoff and Buzzin but they are big icky alien insects. I tried to spray Buzzin with Raid but he thinks its breath freshener!

Wolfie who is also from Death Cheese is a werewolf and is gay. He married Nosferatu and they adopted a werewolf pup. He doesn't bother me.

Axe Man is known as the Norwegian Nympho because he is from Norway and he has sex with a lot of nymphs and every other thing that is female.

Anyway I one day noticed that Axe Man was following me all over the Netherworld Hotel. He said to me "come to Axe, PANSI! You want me!"

Ohhhh, this Tweeter thing is frustrating for me! How am I supposed to contain all my wisdom into just 140 characters? I am a diva after all!

http://ping.fm/rrSlh Aubvey sometimes drinks too much Shine which is supplied by Cuzzin Hildy-Bob and Virgil-Joe from the farm.

Axe Man is also the biggest pervert! He really wanted Brittney, but she wouldn't have him. I think he may have gotten with Aubvey though.

http://ping.fm/LKpij I also have to listen to Death Cheese practicing all the time. They are the loudest band and the worst.

Mrs. Weirdso said that the Netherworld and Hell is the same thing and she is right! My publicist is the Cheese Mistress who is disorganized!

http://ping.fm/khITA Mrs. Weirdso used to be my publicist. But one day she sent me, Aubvey Brittney and Emrald to the Netherworld.

I am glad Dr. Schitz saved the Lobster Baby and the Taco Baby from Rotten Ralph though, even if they are unnatural mutants that he created.

Dr. Schitz is our Ill-Health Minister here in the Nether World. He is very smart but does unnatural stuff against the Lord like mixing DNAs.

http://ping.fm/Rpdfa Dr. Schitz wrote Rotten Ralph a note to stop trying to cook kids.

http://ping.fm/2ffCX My novel is sponsored by Dr. Doo Doo's Holy Drug Warehouse.

I really could not believe that Rotten Ralph asked me for a date! I was so upset that my head almost spinned around like that Exorcist girl!

PANSI'S STALKER

I HAVE A STALKER ON TWITTER!!!!!!!!

Here in the Nether World there is a horrible ogre or ghoul or zombie named Rotten Ralph. He cooks for the restaurant Steak Thru the Heart.

Horrible Things From the Nether World
PANSI'S TWITTER NOVEL!!!!! (with editing by Brittney)
Every thing in here is completely TRUE!!!!

I WANT YOU ALL TO KNOW THAT IF HACK RITER'S LIKE THE CHEESE MISTRESS AND THE SPOOKY GUY CAN RITE A TWITTER NOVEL, SO CAN I!!!!

Ad for Dr. Doo Doo's Holy Drug Warehouse

Hey patient's! Dr. Doo Doo here getting ready to ring in the New Year in style with every kind of Party Favor you can imagine, right from my where house, Man! I want to thank my good friend and esteamed colleague Dr. House for posing for this advertisemint for Holy House of Drugs. Remember, its conveniantly located next to Hell's Pass Hospital for your convenient's! Thanx, Dr. House! Your the best, man!

Dr. Doo Doo

Is Mia seeking Meekmoks?

Mia the Dachshund went to the keyboard and typed this into the search box:

767980sssAQ)z(JKOL e45

Emrald says that she believes that the Meekmoks have been communicating with the so-called "lower animals" at the Netherworld Hotel. Raymond the Cat once performed a search using all sixes, but Brittney says that this is more likely evidence that he is worshiping the Master. However, on another occasion Raymond performed a search using a complex string of numbers which tends to support Emrald's theory.

--Ghost Toasty

PANSI'S NEW HATE

THIS IS TEMPIST LE TROOP. SHE IS A ROMANSE NOVALIST. EVRY ONE THINK'S SHE IS SUCH A BIG DEEL!!!!! WHEN I WAS SHOPING AT HAL ITOSSISES BOOTIKE, SHE CAME IN AND THEY ALL STARTED SCREEMING AND RAN RITE TO HER TO GET HER AUTAGRAF!!!!

I COULD NOT BEELIEF IT!!!! IT WAS WORSER THAN THE HOOP LA ABOUT THE RITER WHO ROTE THAT REELY INTALEKSHUAL BOOK TWI LITE THAT HAS ALL THOSE BIG WORD'S LIKE "CHAGRIN" AND "SPARKLEY."

AND NOW MR. IGNATS WANTS US TO MAKE A PLAY FROM ONE OF THIS BIMBO TEMPIST LE TROOP'S BOOK'S. HE SAY'S IT WILL BE THE BIGEST EVAR, EVEN BETTER THAN THE AMMANDA MCKETARICK ROZ PLAY. THAT MADE MRS. AMANDA MAD AND SHE STORMD OUT WHICH I DO NOT BLAIM HER FOR!!!! ENNY HOW THEY WILL HALF TO COME UP WITH A LOT OF QUATLOO'S AND A LOT OF PUBLISATY FOR ME TO BE IN A PLAY BY THIS HACK RITER!!!!! I SO DO NOT NO WHY EVRY BUDDY THINK'S SHE IS SUCH A BIG DEEL!!!!!!

PANSI!!!!!!

PANSI'S ORNAMENT

YOUR XMAHANNUKWANZYULE TREE WILL BE TRULY GLORIOUS WITH THE ADDITION OF THE "PANSI ENRAPTURED" ORNAMENT! GET YOURS QUICKLY! ONLY 666,666,666 AVAILABLE AND THEY'RE GOING FAST! JUST 666,666 QUATLOOS EACH!

--HAL ITOSIS

The Doo Doos Xmahannukwanzyule Ornament

"Like, this ornament deserves a HIGH place on your Xmahannukwanzyule tree, Man!"

--Dr. Doo Doo

Leave Brittney Alone!

Exclusive NG4J Ornament for 2009 featuring Brittney and her li'l buddy, Merlin

Brittney has been taking a lot of flack from family values groups recently for dumping the father of her DNA-spliced spawns for Satan's popular rocker son, Nikki 666, earlier this year. The young fan below will have none of it. Brittney is his favorite NG4J superstar DJ, and he wants everyone to just leave her alone!

2009 Special NG4J Ornament

This year's lovely ornament features the cast of the Amanda McKittrick Ros play as seen during Vogon Idol.