Will Billy give Aubvey the coveted Gold Faucet for a song, or will he demand something more?
Aubvey Crazy for Billy Mays' Plumbing
by Dirty Dan
Red Green and Sealo were installing a new door on Aubvey's suite, and one of the hinges broke. Red asked Aubvey if she'd mind very much going over to Billy's Place, the home improvement division at Hal's Club, to pick up a hinge.
Aubvey headed over to Billy's place. While she was waiting for Billy to finish working with his last customer, her eye caught a beautiful bathroom faucet. She very much wanted to have that glorious faucet in her bathroom.
When Billy came over, Aubvey asked him: “Billy, Sugar Plum', how much is that faucet?”
Billy replied in his unique, booming voice: “That’s a gold plated faucet, Aubvey, Darling, and the price is $500,000,000 Quatloos.”
"Oh mah," Aubvey sighed sadly. "Oh, mah, mah, mah. Mah goodness, that is a very expensive faucet. It’s certainly out of mah price bracket in this deplorable economy."
Aubvey then proceeded to describe the hinge that Red Green had sent her to buy. Billy was familiar with that type of hinge and went into the storeroom to get one.
From the storeroom Billy called: “Aubvey, do you wanna screw for the hinge?”
Aubvey paused for a moment and then shouted back: “No, Billy, but Ah will for the faucet.”
2 comments:
Aubvey, Ah would do the same for a gold-plated faucet!
Happy new year, Cie ...
Oh, Karen, Ah am so glad you understand! Brittney just called me a low crawlin' snake in the grass an' offered to get me a pair of knee pads for a late Xmahannukwanzyule gift! But she has to have a plain ole crummy steel faucet in her bathroom while Ah now have a brand new beautiful gold one! And Billy sent flowers an' is takin' me out to dinner!
Happy New Year to you too, Darlin!
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